Love Notes

As I said in the previous post, it seem each month something happens coincidentally or magically which stresses me out and upsets me. November’s upset.

Wednesday, November 29th, per our usual agreement to allow him time with our children, he arrived at 4:40pm to spend a few hours with the girls while I took off to work out.

He usually brings his laptop bag into the house with his laptop. I often wonder why he insists on spending time with our girls if he is just going to use his laptop to “work” some transcription online thing or watch videos on his laptop. However he claims he does not get to do the transcription work at the house at which he is crashing because the couple he is crashing on their floor do not have internet. He claims he can only work at places like Starbucks who has free wifi or at our house where he can use the wifi. My point is that he is insisting on DAILY contact with the kids but not really spending that time with them if he is on his computer rather than spending time with them, but hey it’s his time.

So he packs up after I come back home because I was later than usual getting back from the gym (I stopped to pick up a prescription on my way home). He practically ran out the door when I got home. I got the girls in bed and went to the dinning room to work on grading a few papers for my classes. Under my laptop was a note from his homewrecker girlfriend, Sarah, to him.


First off, why was it even in the house? Why put it under my laptop? According to him he did not put it under the laptop on purpose. According to him, he took it off his car window and stuffed it in his pocket without reading it. He says he did not want me to see it on his window so he waited to read it until after I left to go to the gym. He is not sure how it got left on the table under my laptop. REALLY?

Second, “I love you to the moon and back” seriously? Does this girl not understand that is plagiarism? He never liked cliche crap like that before. He always appreciated originality–at least according to him.

So any way this upset me because frankly I don’t need reminders of his unfaithfulness. I don’t want to be reminded that my husband is openly committing adultery with another woman while still married to me. I don’t need to be reminded that he left our home, our kids, and me for her. It still hurts to realize that I put 14 years of my life into our relationship just for him to throw it away for a girl half my age. It still hurts to think about all my wasted time. It hurts to realize that I moved to Florida because he insisted he must live in Florida, yet he knew I was unhappy moving to Florida. I gave up my life, my budding career in Louisiana, and my dreams in order to come to Florida to make him happy just for him to decide he was unhappy no matter what I did for him.

The real eye opener was when I finally calmed down and we talked. I reminded him that he promised to never get bored with me and leave me for another woman. He apologized for what he called “being” him. He admitted that he is a sociopath who does not develop deep feelings for others. He made sure to clarify not psychopath but sociopath because he just does not get a deep emotional connection to people but he does have some small amount of empathy according to him.

My comment to that was along the lines of, “and you want to introduce HER to our children knowing you don’t develop deep emotional connections, so once the ‘newness’ wears off and you get bored with her then our children get hurt by losing her if they managed to get past the fact that she broke mommy and daddy apart?” He claims that this relationship is going to last in his opinion at least 5 years or so thus he feels it is appropriate to introduce her to the kids on a slow once a week type basis. WHAT!? So after 5 years when he gets bored with her it’s okay to screw up our kids some more emotionally?  I don’t think so. At this point, I am holding him to the agreement that he can’t have our children around his girlfriend without my approval, and I refuse to give my approval until he pays for therapy for our 9 year in order to help her deal with his leaving the family like he has. Furthermore, I personally think HE NEEDS THERAPY too! Any parent who thinks it is okay to jump from relationship to relationship when he gets bored with his current lover does not need to introduce his kids to his lovers.

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