Unreliable Daddy


Friday, December 8, 2017, Louis was supposed to come to the house to watch the 2 year old for me while I went to the college where I work for a committee grading session. At the end of the semester, the developmental writing instructors gather together to do committee grading for the developmental writing courses. It normally takes 1-2 hours, and it is always done the last Friday of the semester. I messaged Louis on Wednesday, November 29th to ask if he could watch Aurora.  That is a full 9 days advanced notice to which he said yes. I offered to make daycare arrangements if he could not, but he said he could take care of her. So I did not make day care arrangements.

Then on the morning of the 8th, he over slept. I messaged him when I first woke up to remind him. Then I messaged him as it got near time for me to leave. He finally responded with, “Damn, it, I forgot. I am on my way.”  5 minutes later, he calls to say he is not on his way nor is he coming to watch Aurora. WHY? Because he claims the night before his car “left him stranded on the side of the road.” His words not mine. He claimed he over slept because he was stuck with a car that would not crank, and did not get to bed until 3 in the morning and had very little sleep. He said he thinks it is the battery. To which I responded, “You just bought that battery not to long ago.”

I am frustrated and don’t have time for his crappy excuse. I know him. He will use a kernel of truth to build a lie when he wants to get out of doing something. I have watched him for 14 years with his family and the lies and excuses he uses with his family.

As he insisted we move to Florida despite the fact that I have no family here, then he proceeded to drive wedges between my friends, family, and myself over the years in subtle ways, I have no support system here in the Pensacola Florida area to help me when I need a last minute favor. I call the only two mothers I know in the area. Janet is working 8-1. Jessica has three sick kids at home with fevers and possible flu. Neither are a possible choice for leaving my child with for a few hours while I go to work.

Even if the committee would be willing to excuse me from the grading session, I have papers of my students to submit for the grading committee. As it is our developmental classes are so slim these days that we only have about 5 of us for the grading committee, so not doing my part is not even an option—I must go with a 2 year old in tow.

On the way there, my van over heats and shuts off on the off ramp of the interstate exit to the college. I message Louis. I get no response. I call Louis. No answer. I message and call again. I call again and again. Finally I get so frustrated that I decide to call his homewrecker’s phone because I am pretty sure she and he are in bed together as he has told me that she now works 6pm to 2:30 am shifts now and it is his day off. She answers but does not say anything. I immediately try his phone again after telling her to have him answer his phone. WOW he answered his phone!

We end up fighting because frankly I am pissed that he has let me down not only by not taking care of our child—like he promised–, but that I should have to resort to calling his homewrecker in order for me to get him to answer his phone. He makes excuses and tried to tell me that she is not in bed with him. Okay so I don’t have physical proof but it was pretty obvious he was considering she answered her phone and suddenly he decided to answer my calls on his phone when he had been ignoring me.

He swears he was broke down but there are holes in his story. Like for example, he is claiming he was out late, yet the night he supposedly broke down, he left our house at 8pm and did not even tuck in our 9 year old—which disappointed her. Yet according to his phone call to me, he was out at 3 am broke down on the side of the road.

Next, a bad battery does not make a car break down on the “side of the road” while driving, but will keep the car from cranking up. I have seen my father crank a car then remove the battery from the running car. Once cranked, battery not needed in older model autos which are not hybrids—his car is an older model Ford Taurus. I point some of this out in our verbal exchange then I tell him I am sick of his lies and breaking his word. Obviously the children do not come before staying in bed with his girlfriend. Then I hang up on him.

Next day in text messages his story changes. See pictures of text conversations for his story changes where he conveniently explains everything except how it is that he left our house at 8pm yet was broke down. He claims it was the ignition switch. Now he claims around 10 pm when he stopped for gas that the car just would not crank up after stopping for gas. If his girlfriend was working, as she supposedly was, then how is it that he does not stop to get gas until 2 hours after leaving our house and does not get his car going again?

Finally, the real cincher is when I ask, so did you get your ignition fixed? Nope. So this car problem was so bad that he could not come do what he promised he would by watching our child so I could work, but he does not feel it is bad enough of an issue to fix in order that he will make it to work on time? So that he does not get stuck with the car not starting again when he is out and about? Um yeah and he wonders why I don’t believe him when he claims he could not come watch our child? He wonders why I don’t believe him when he claims he was not in bed with her when I was desperately calling him as I was with a 2 year old in freezing cold weather and an overheated van.

Like I said, I have seen him use a kernel of truth to build lies he told to his family so very often just to get out of doing stuff he did not want to do that I know when he is lying to me. Some of his story is true but parts of it is not and it is obvious. Which parts do you think he is lying about and which parts do you think he is telling the truth?

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