“In the best interests of the children”


I find this phrase ironic and funny. The state wants what is in the best interests of the children supposedly, yet the state allows a cheating husband to take the children to visit his family only an hour away in the same state, but the faithful wife is not allowed to take the children 3.5 hours away to visit her family because it is another state. The cheating husband has a local support system while the faithful wife has no local support system. So let’s not only force the wife to stay in a miserable situation but give the cheating husband all the power by allowing him to be in control.

Then there is the cheating husband’s claim that he is putting the children first. Umm no you are not. Forcing our children to meet your homewrecker girlfriend on a regular basis because you want them to develop a relationship when you are not even divorced yet, is not in the best interests of the children when one of the children is still struggling to understand what it means when mommy and daddy are still living in the same house but getting a divorce.

Our 9 year old drew a picture Thursday morning before school.

9 year old drawing

Notice the “mommy” and “daddy” are together and even appear to be holding hands. Our 9 year old wants this picture to be real. She told me on the way to drop her off at school that she wishes magic was real because she would wish for her family to be happy together.  How does a mother explain or deal with this?

I have to be careful what I say to her because the courts don’t want parents bad mouthing one another and even though it is the truth to tell her that daddy does not want mommy anymore that daddy wants Sarah now. Sarah and Louis consider this badmouthing them.

Sarah and Louis want to believe that they have done nothing wrong, yet they want to hide the truth of how they came to be a couple. If one has to hide or lie about something then perhaps one should rethink whether what one is doing is the “right” thing to do? Sarah and Louis just want everyone to blindly accept they met at work and fell in love while ignoring how they broke up a 14 year relationship with 2 children in order to “fall in love” working at NFCU. They want to ignore how he was still having intimate marital relations with me, his wife, up until 6 days before he told me he wanted a divorce. He groped me in our kitchen and wanted more intimacy only 3 days before they became a couple. He was constantly telling me how much he loved me and affectionate toward me up until the day he told me he wanted a divorce, and they became a couple that same day. They want people to ignore how the day he told me he wanted a divorce is the same day that Louis and Sarah celebrate as their anniversary day.

He doesn’t think our child needs a therapist to help her deal with the divorce that he wants so that he can go be with his homewrecker girlfriend who is 15 years younger than him. He refuses to believe that his actions are affecting our children. He just wants what he selfishly wants which is to be with someone else without any concern for the family he has destroyed in the process of seeking a younger woman to replace the wife he claimed to love for over 14 years.

In his mind, it is perfectly okay for Sarah to refer to my family has her own when talking to her co-workers and friends. She is now claiming my kids as her and his kids by referring to them as “our kids” when she talks about them. He defended her when I brought this to his attention that I was offended that she not only claimed I have mental issues and then referred to my children with him as “our children” as if they were his and her children. He said whomever told me this was lying because she would never try to step into my shoes and take my children.

He even told me how she “worried that the kids would grow to like her more than they like me.” STUPID man has not been around many manipulative, lying women before because well I can’t lie well and avoid lying by simply always trying to be honest (according to my best friend and soon to be ex-husband I suck at lying and everyone can tell when I try because it is written on my face), so he does not have much practice with the whole woman way of asking permission for something by actually expressing it as if it was a worry or concern. That was basically her way of asking him permission to pursue to win my children’s love just like she “won” his love away from me. Duh.

Our children are hurting, and he is not concerned because he would rather ignore the children’s pain for his own happiness. Yeah, I am angry, hurt, and bitter but at least I am willing to acknowledge honestly that I am angry, hurt, and bitter over how he and her have treated me. However I am also VERY worried about my children. Specifically my oldest girl who is 9 years old and not accepting that mommy and daddy are getting a divorce. When daddy moved back into the house, she thought daddy was moving back into mommy’s room. She does not understand that mommy and daddy are not back together as a family now just because we live in the same house while fighting in court over who gets the house and who gets the kids for how much time. What she sees is daddy is back in the home again. What she wants is the picture she drew–notice the homewrecker is not in that picture and mommy and daddy appear to be holding hands. That is her dreams that he is planning to crush.

Nothing he has done has been “for our children” but all about him and for him and his girlfriend who he now puts before the well being of our children.

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