No money for Child ADD testing but…


So Louis told me back in July to cancel the appointment we had for our oldest child to be tested for ADHD by a neuropsychology specialist that our pediatrician referred us to see because our child’s school did a parent and teacher questionnaire regarding her behaviors in the classroom and at home. The parent/teacher questionnaire came back showing the teacher marking her as ADHD; however, my part of the questionnaire that I filled out showed ADD.  The pediatrician felt that the school assessment is rather subjective not objective enough and so she referred us to a specialist who does testing for this sort of thing. Only the insurance via NFCU does not consider it “medically necessary” thus the insurance wants us to pay out of our own pocket for the testing. It was going to cost us $980.00 for the 3 appointments (2 for testing and 1 for follow up) back in July/August. Our appointment was for July 31 and August 2.

Why did Louis want it canceled? Because we did not have that much cash on hand nor have a credit card to pay for such an expense. We could not afford it at the time, and I agreed on the condition that we use some of our 2017 tax return to pay for the testing.

Yet, he had enough to pay for him and his girl friend to have tickets for her favorite comedian. He bought the tickets ($275) back on August 6, 2017 before he even moved out of the house on August 9th. He used the money in his personal account because he seems to think that is HIS money separate from me despite the fact that that is where our JOINT tax return refund was e-deposited, thus making it OUR money plus the fact that we were still legally married and living together at the time.

Furthermore, for his girlfriend’s birthday at the end of October/first of November, he took Sarah on a nice trip to New Orleans (interesting mostly because he seems to be reliving our first date with her).

Finally, he took out a credit card at the end of August because he decided he needed to build his credit up some more and he could use it to pay for our children’s birthdays in August and September. Now this is after 14 years of him refusing to build his credit up with a credit card because “everyone” he knows who got credit cards “got into trouble” by using them when it was not necessary to use them. Furthermore, he did not have the card in time to pay for our oldest daughter’s birthday at the end of August as it was still in the mail and did not arrive in time. Yet, somehow he ran up his credit card to its max at $3.490.00 in the 4.5 months that he was not living with the kids and I at the family home.

So as this nightmare separation and divorce has continued, I pushed for our oldest daughter to get therapy to help her deal with the divorce and daddy leaving mommy. Only he says he can’t afford the therapy cost. His insurance pays for all but $20 of the therapy each session. Once a week, $20 a week,for his child to have a therapist to help her deal with daddy leaving mommy is too much?

I had a written agreement from him saying he would not further introduce new people without my knowledge and permission to the children. I also agreed to not introduce new people to the children without his permission. Later I told him I understood that I may not be able to ever agree to his new girlfriend, Sarah, being around our kids because I am hurt and angry over her being the homewrecker girlfriend. If he and her had waited until the divorce was done before they started their relationship then I might not be so angry and bitter but because basically they were flirting around before he told me that he wanted a divorce and because he basically decided he wanted a divorce just so he could date her openly, I feel he and her did things wrong in how he ended our marriage. I resent her and him for the hurt they have caused me repeatedly over the past few months with leaving notes and texts (almost as if they can’t help shoving their relationship in my face), thus I told him I wanted to put our oldest child in therapy to not only help our child understand and deal with the divorce but also so that the therapist could let us know when our 9 year old was accepting of the divorce to the point that a new girlfriend could be introduced to the children.

After he decided to file for divorce papers, he decided that the agreement we had was not something he had to follow, even though he was the one who typed it up and we both agreed and signed it on August 3, 2017. So he has been taking the kids to spend entire days with him and his girlfriend doing fun stuff every other week during “his” week time with the kids. He is doing this against our original agreement, against my wishes as the other parent, and without being willing to pay for therapy.

He did not want to spend the money on the therapy for our oldest child! I am having to find a way to get our child the therapy she needs, and I will have to pay for her to have the needed testing for her educational needs.

Our child came home with an F on her report card. The school sent another questionnaire home and it came back with this year’s teacher scoring her as ADD and myself scoring her as ADD. Now the Neuropsycholigist is no longer considered “in network” with our insurance so the price has gone up to $1200 for the testing for our child. He does not WANT to pay for his share of the costs for our child.

Yet, he has the money to spend his yearly bonus that he just got in January on things like a new Nintendo Switch (for him and Jasmine because according to him, he figures I am going to take the PS3 with me when I move out and he wants something for him and Jasmine to play with after I move out). Also, he has the money to spend for a hotel room every other week or so in order that he and his girlfriend have a place to go have sex (after all he lives with the kids and I, she lives with her daddy, and the BFF kicked them out so as not to continue to enable their relationship which has progressed at a super fast speed before he is even divorced). He has the money to buy his girlfriend an engagement ring (black with silver accents on the band and a solitaire on top with pink stones on the sides of the solitaire–it got described to me in detail) and other gifts. But he does not have the money for OUR child to have testing done which may help her with her educational needs nor does he have the money to help pay for our child to have therapy for the angst and pain HE and HIS girlfriend have caused our family.

It seems to me that he has the money for things he wants but not for things our children need. He keeps claiming he is putting our children first, yet he won’t pay for things our children really do need.

He keeps harping on how he is not doing anything wrong and that he has not done anything to hurt our children mentally nor emotionally.  Thus he justifies his spending HIS money how he wishes on items that are his and his girlfriend’s wants not family needs.

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