Archive for July, 2019

Modern Law Protects the Wrong doers

July 23, 2019

Recently, a friend’s husband who has been very sick, shoooed a large (pit bull type) dog from their property. As the husband, turned to go back into the home, the dog growled and rushed at the husband. The husband then pulled his firearm (licensed to carry) and shot, not the dog but in front of the dog, to scare it away. It worked and the dog went home with a few rock fragments in its face. The owner of the dog had a fit when a neighbor told the owner what had happened. The police were called. The friend’s husband was arrested. When he was arrested the police even agreed it was messed up that animals have more rights now than humans because if a human had threatened the man’s home and property the man would have been justified in shooting under the stand your ground law. Thankfully the entire event was caught on video as the friend and her husband have video monitoring around their home. They were able to eventually prove what happened using the video and get the charges dropped but only after the stress of bailing out dad who had been arrested in front of his 11 year old daughter, going to arraignment, filing for a court appointed attorney and praying they could get one because while they own their own business it is not a huge money maker thus they pay their bills but don’t have the down payment a lawyer wants for the upfront legal fees. Thus for weeks this family was under stress over not only dad’s illness but over legal issues and money issues.

Why is this aggressive dog allowed to run free in a neighborhood? The owner should have been more afraid of the citation for allowing his dog to terrorize the neighborhood than worried about his dog being shoooed away from a property with force.

So this started me thinking that in today’s society, our system has begun to protect the criminals and the wrong doers rather than the innocent.

Look at the divorces now. “No fault” states insist there is no fault even if a spouse is cheating on his/her partner. This is not fair to the spouse being cheated.

50/50 custody even if one of the parents had neglected his/her relationship during the marriage with the kids means that the neglectful parent can suddenly “attempt” to have a relationship with kids who don’t really want that parent in their life just so the neglectful parent can get out of child support.

Louis never wanted to fight for his Rose (his oldest daughter from his first girlfriend) despite the fact that I saved money up to try to get a lawyer. Gave that money to his mother who spent $100 on a legal consult but never followed up with the rest of the money I gave her but instead used it for pay for a trip to see and pick up Rose for a summer vacation. He wasn’t paying child support but was getting to see her occasionally until she turned 10 then SHE rejected him because she didn’t want to travel so far for a man who never called her or paid her mom child support when she had a new daddy supporting her mom.

He didn’t want Princess A and even asked his parents to loan him money on the pretense we needed it to pay an electric bill (yes we had an electric bill that was partially paid but he told them twice the total so he could get more than we needed) because he wanted me to terminate the pregnancy. He now likes to claim that he told me it was “my choice” but he definitely put pressure on me to terminate while saying it was ultimately my choice. He said he didn’t need any more kids. He mentioned he had Rose (despite the fact that he never sees her anymore). He mentioned we had Princess J already, so we didn’t really need another child. He didn’t want another child but well it’s my body so it’s my choice. He even looked up costs and clinics in the local area for the termination of the pregnancy.

He pushed Princess A away from birth until 22 months. When I was stressed with trying to breast feed, he pushed me to continue in a way that he never pushed me to continue with Princess J. With Princess J he was fine with her switching to formula before she turned a year but Princess A he reminded me that it was “better for her than formula”. At the time he made me feel it was mostly because as long as I had to breast feed Princess A then I was the main care taker thus he could get away with not really taking care of her. I had to rush to work at the last minute and rush home from work at the last minute so that he would not have to spend much time providing care. Meanwhile he would leave for work an hour early and come home whenever. I had no free time for me and little time to keep up with my work. He started going on “team building” dinners with his co-workers.

Then suddenly he gets a new girlfriend and wants to play daddy to a child that doesn’t really know him well.

Our oldest, Princess J, I can understand him wanting time with her as he was there at her birth and bonded with her during her early years. Princess J and her dad have a good relationship. Princess A is really not as invested with her dad though.

Princess A tells me all the time that she does not want to go to daddy’s house. She wants to stay at mommy’s house. Unfortunately, I can’t do anything about it because the law doesn’t recognize that he was a crap dad to her before the divorce. The law only cares about giving him a chance to be a dad now so that he doesn’t have to pay child support.

Once upon a time adulterers would have been stoned together both (my ex and his homewrecker) but now we give them lollipops and tell them they don’t even have to help take care of the family they destroyed.

The wronged are not even allowed to speak out against the wrong doers without being accused of bullying or sued for liable these days. It does not matter if someone does something wrong, the innocent are supposed to shut their mouths and not try to warn others that this may happen to you too.

 

 

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Only cheaters and liars think Marriage is just a piece of paper.

July 15, 2019

work for marriage

 

Louis use to say that marriage was just a piece of paper. Guess that is because to him marriage is not a commitment like the rest of us think. I have come to realize that his saying this was because he was raised by a mom who married and divorced repeatedly, so to him it was just a piece of paper and for him, even once we were married, he was not committed to the marriage like I was committed.

He even told me that he hated how the guys his mother married then divorced wanted to continue to see him and spend time with him after the divorce. This is in fact what he used as an excuse for not pursuing his relationship with his oldest daughter Rose. Rose was 10 when she started refusing to see him and when she started refusing to call him back when he would call her. He told me then how he did not want to pressure Rose to see him because he use to hate how those exes of his mother would try to still see him as if they were his father. He did not have a father and was never close to any of his mother’s husbands. In fact, he actively over several years complained about her current husband–who I actually think is a decent sort of guy so I defended him to Louis on some of those occasions where Louis would grump about his mother’s current husband trying to act like his “father”. But back to the original thoughts about Louis’ and his ideas regarding marriage (sorry for the side track).

Louis seems to think marriage is just a piece of paper to be discarded when he chooses. Thus for years before we were actually legally married he called me his wife to our family and friends. Then he surprised me and HE said, “Let’s get married.” To which I responded, “Why? Not that I am saying no but you have never felt that marriage was more than a piece of paper, so why now?”  He was like, “because I can’t see myself with anyone but you for the rest of my life.” I was like O WOW really then yes let’s get married. I believed him. He asked me. I questioned it. He answered my question with a good enough answer.

Later, (now) when asked why did you marry me just to dump me so quickly for a younger woman? He says because he wanted to make me happy. Um no I was not asking to get married. I was actively defending the decision to BOTH our families for us not marrying. He asked me. I did not push for it. So it boggles my mind that he now claims our marriage was over long before he met Sarah. Um really? Odd how only he sees it that way.

Everyone, but especially me, was shocked that we were getting divorced and that he dumped me for the very young co-worker. So obviously, it was not over until she came along. He slept in the bed with me up to the very day he asked for a divorce–July 29, 2017 which is the date (he claims) that she put into his phone as their anniversary. (Supposedly he just handed her his phone to put her address and phone into it and she put the anniversary in it also). That thought does make me question did she put it in his phone? Or was it him? I have caught him in so dang many lies since he said he wanted a divorce.

Then once he asked for a divorce, it was over. BANG. No compromise. No talking about it. No getting therapy for our marriage. Nope just he made a decision without consulting me or the kids. At that point, he went to dating his young co-worker and said he was not cheating because he told me he wanted a divorce before he went on that date the next night with her.

Um so he can declare a woman his wife for 10 years, but legally she is not. Then when she is legally his wife he declares the relationship over, so it is over just like that? Yet, by law he was committing adultery by being with someone else while still legally married. O wait, he doesn’t owe alimony because we were not legally married long enough despite the fact that he called me his wife for 10 years before we legally married–umm so the law only applies when it is convenient right? So which is it? We were married all that time he declared me his wife? Or did he commit adultery while still married to me. Can’t have both ways–it’s either one or the other. In his mind, he gets his way by having both apply when he wants it to apply.

This is the mentality of a cheater who does not value marriage. One who values marriage does see the marriage as a commitment between two people. Someone who values marriage as a commitment will want to work on the marriage before throwing in the towel and moving on to a much younger woman. Louis is obviously trying to re-write things in his mind to justify his behavior in leaving me for a younger woman without any warning. He likes to say our marriage was over, but he gave no indication of it. Yet now he justifies the fact that he was telling me he loved me, just days before asking for a divorce, by saying that he is just a really good actor. No your girlfriend just insisted you get a divorce. Then she paid for the lawyer to get the divorce.

So to all the ladies out there whose boyfriends are claiming your his wife, run. If he really believed you were his wife, he would go to the court house and marry you. Don’t take the scraps of some liar when you can find someone who will treat you so much better.

To the homewreckers who think you need a guy like this, thank you for stealing the faithless bum who can’t be trusted, thank you for breaking up the family, thank you for being the reason our children bounce from house to house. May you now get what you deserve, his false promises.

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