Louis use to say that marriage was just a piece of paper. Guess that is because to him marriage is not a commitment like the rest of us think. I have come to realize that his saying this was because he was raised by a mom who married and divorced repeatedly, so to him it was just a piece of paper and for him, even once we were married, he was not committed to the marriage like I was committed.
He even told me that he hated how the guys his mother married then divorced wanted to continue to see him and spend time with him after the divorce. This is in fact what he used as an excuse for not pursuing his relationship with his oldest daughter Rose. Rose was 10 when she started refusing to see him and when she started refusing to call him back when he would call her. He told me then how he did not want to pressure Rose to see him because he use to hate how those exes of his mother would try to still see him as if they were his father. He did not have a father and was never close to any of his mother’s husbands. In fact, he actively over several years complained about her current husband–who I actually think is a decent sort of guy so I defended him to Louis on some of those occasions where Louis would grump about his mother’s current husband trying to act like his “father”. But back to the original thoughts about Louis’ and his ideas regarding marriage (sorry for the side track).
Louis seems to think marriage is just a piece of paper to be discarded when he chooses. Thus for years before we were actually legally married he called me his wife to our family and friends. Then he surprised me and HE said, “Let’s get married.” To which I responded, “Why? Not that I am saying no but you have never felt that marriage was more than a piece of paper, so why now?” He was like, “because I can’t see myself with anyone but you for the rest of my life.” I was like O WOW really then yes let’s get married. I believed him. He asked me. I questioned it. He answered my question with a good enough answer.
Later, (now) when asked why did you marry me just to dump me so quickly for a younger woman? He says because he wanted to make me happy. Um no I was not asking to get married. I was actively defending the decision to BOTH our families for us not marrying. He asked me. I did not push for it. So it boggles my mind that he now claims our marriage was over long before he met Sarah. Um really? Odd how only he sees it that way.
Everyone, but especially me, was shocked that we were getting divorced and that he dumped me for the very young co-worker. So obviously, it was not over until she came along. He slept in the bed with me up to the very day he asked for a divorce–July 29, 2017 which is the date (he claims) that she put into his phone as their anniversary. (Supposedly he just handed her his phone to put her address and phone into it and she put the anniversary in it also). That thought does make me question did she put it in his phone? Or was it him? I have caught him in so dang many lies since he said he wanted a divorce.
Then once he asked for a divorce, it was over. BANG. No compromise. No talking about it. No getting therapy for our marriage. Nope just he made a decision without consulting me or the kids. At that point, he went to dating his young co-worker and said he was not cheating because he told me he wanted a divorce before he went on that date the next night with her.
Um so he can declare a woman his wife for 10 years, but legally she is not. Then when she is legally his wife he declares the relationship over, so it is over just like that? Yet, by law he was committing adultery by being with someone else while still legally married. O wait, he doesn’t owe alimony because we were not legally married long enough despite the fact that he called me his wife for 10 years before we legally married–umm so the law only applies when it is convenient right? So which is it? We were married all that time he declared me his wife? Or did he commit adultery while still married to me. Can’t have both ways–it’s either one or the other. In his mind, he gets his way by having both apply when he wants it to apply.
This is the mentality of a cheater who does not value marriage. One who values marriage does see the marriage as a commitment between two people. Someone who values marriage as a commitment will want to work on the marriage before throwing in the towel and moving on to a much younger woman. Louis is obviously trying to re-write things in his mind to justify his behavior in leaving me for a younger woman without any warning. He likes to say our marriage was over, but he gave no indication of it. Yet now he justifies the fact that he was telling me he loved me, just days before asking for a divorce, by saying that he is just a really good actor. No your girlfriend just insisted you get a divorce. Then she paid for the lawyer to get the divorce.
So to all the ladies out there whose boyfriends are claiming your his wife, run. If he really believed you were his wife, he would go to the court house and marry you. Don’t take the scraps of some liar when you can find someone who will treat you so much better.
To the homewreckers who think you need a guy like this, thank you for stealing the faithless bum who can’t be trusted, thank you for breaking up the family, thank you for being the reason our children bounce from house to house. May you now get what you deserve, his false promises.
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